For some reason, I've spent the past six months or so doing everything I could to conceal a fact - that I'm scared to death about everything that deals with college. In all fairness, I didn't realize it until recently. I think I've always felt it - but I've been so excited about all of this change that I didn't acknowledge the fact that I waited until the last minute to finish application essays, and i put away letters asking for admission decisions, and I ignore emails about visiting, and I left financial aid applications to my parents.
Maybe if I admit it, I can defeat it.
In all seriousness, I have always been in love with the idea of living somewhere different. Ever since I can remember, I've wanted to go somewhere other than Auburn. The city's always been too small, or too quiet, or too boring, or too safe. As an only child, I spend a lot of time alone, which gives me time to think - time to be restless. Going away to college was just something that was part of my plan. I never thought about what it would take for it to be possible - it was just part of the plan.
Then senior year came around, and things started to become real. Old teachers and parents of friends (never my own, though) would look at me, smile and shake their heads incredulously, and say "Man. I can't believe you're graduating already". And until recently, I didn't believe it either. Until about three hours ago.
As most eligible seniors know, the financial aid deadline (FAFSA, CSS forms, etc.) is in about two days. And because of my aversion to anything bigger than myself, I have let this fall to my parents without question. But when our accountant wasn't able to get us our tax return forms until today, I thought I'd try to lessen my parent's paperwork by filling out as much of it as I could. At this point, only four things are certain:
1) I owe a good portion of my soul to Auburn University for their generous scholarship offer. Scholarship = no financial aid needed = no paperwork = :)
2) I know close to nothing about my parent's finances. And/or my own.
3) I sat down at this computer three hours ago with the full intention of watching Sex and the City reruns on hulu.com.
4) WHY DID I APPLY TO THIS MANY UNIVERSITIES?
And this is where reality rears its ugly head.
Looks like ignorance isn't going to cut it any more.
